I’m again eating all by myself. Years ago, I used to be uncomfortable with this as I observe other people around me enjoying each other’s company. Not later than that, I began to eat with a company. Rarely then thereafter I ate alone. It can’t be denied the ease, comfort and joy being with someone especially with whom you care.
After decades, I’m back eating alone. The feeling now is different. I’m surprised I’m getting really comfortable. Maybe because of this amazing sound quality of my earbuds listening to the haunting music of Enigma and Vangelis on Spotify. This amazing noise cancelling feature virtually takes me away from the crowd as if I’m the only one here eating.
I’m grateful of music ever since when I was a child. During back those days, we only had FM radio. Every time I was alone, feeling the lingering pain of those who inflicted me punishment and feeling the pain of rejection of someone who disregarded my affection, I just dialed the frequency to DYBU. And always, the kind of music was always in synchronicity of my being in emotional solitariness and wounded state of melancholy. Melancholy because I saw and felt the sweetness of pain because of the singers’ passion in going through the longing of connection and happiness.
I think it’s one hour passed yet I valued the food I was chewing and typing this journal into my cellphone. I remember there was this lady centenarian who said something like this: “Why do singers keep singing? Why do dancers keep dancing? And why do writers keep writing when they don’t find it to be a labor? It’s because they love what they do…”
Always in my solitariness, I’m able to write spontaneously from the heart which I find so comforting, lovely and cathartic.
Mike M. Luster 