Even after many years had passed, I still think about you. I thought I can forget you but here I am, listening again and again to the music we shared together. I still remember these are the kind of songs we enjoyed while we made love on my bed.
You used to tell me that you love me so much and that you want to build your world around me. You were even complaining on why I didn’t spend much time on you.
Now that you’re no longer here besides me, how I regret on what I’ve done to you. It’s really true that you learn to value the person when the presence is no longer found.
Every time I see the back of a woman having your same features, shiny long black hair, I immediately walk faster and see if it’s you. To my dismay, it’s always not you.
Every time I drive and see a woman walking in the street having your same look, I’d pull over and take a closer. To my disappointment, I sped away.
Every time, I smell a perfume which you usually wore in the elevator, in the office and in every place where we quickly kissed, wild memories in the motel flashed in my mind. God, I hunger for you every single day!
Every time, I see a starbucks mug on the table, I recall the one you gave me on my birthday which I lost. How foolish I was to have never kept it close to my care and attention!
But I still wear the shirt you gave me from time to time. I feel like you’re still inside me, embracing me.
There were times I went to your favorite mall where you bought this shirt, hoping by magical chance I’d meet you. But never did it happen. Yet still I insisted you could be there one day. Something’s telling me in my mind that I’d meet you there standing still, hopefully waiting for me.
As I’m writing these words, I’m listening to this particular song which brought me back to the time we ran away from our partners so we can be together on that sunny afternoon. I took you away from your husband. You took me away from my wife. No one was forcing us. It was our decision where the heart ruled over the mind.
In front of the world, we were crazy. They called me immoral and a disgrace. But for me, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
If ever time can be reversed, there’s nothing I wouldn’t change. I would still do it, falling in love and lust for you, Rose…