I could have loved and taken cared of you

Elementary years brought me back when all I saw was your face. Everything was vague except your image of purity and innocence. Many times, I wanted to come near you but I was just too shy to even say hi.

I saw you dancing gracefully during our school program. I can still remember the beautiful melancholic music. It was “Love Me” by Michael Cretu.

My eyes were all set on your smile and grace. You seemed so close to my heart yet so far from my touch.

I followed you in every class from morning ’till afternoon. Every time I woke up in the morning, you were the first person I think of. It was as if you’re the reason of my existence.

Time came for our graduation. The sun was setting. People were leaving. I ran away from mom without asking permission. I was looking for you, planning to say finally my ever first word for you, “congratulations.”

But I couldn’t find you. I searched everywhere. Every face I saw bear no image of you not even a tip of your hair. From then on, I hated myself. Why I had to wait for our parting day when I had all the chances to talk to you for the past years?

High school came. I tried to forget you so I can move on. Four years of denying was all the while killing me deep inside. So I vowed to look for you in College. But when I saw you, you were with another man. What pained me the most was knowing you’ve been beaten and abused by him.

So I hated myself more. I could have at least sent you a letter expressing my admiration for you back then. I could have at least say that you wait for me so we’ll be happy together.

I wanted to let you go completely from my memory but still there’s a part of me that longs for you. To had seen you bruised and battered that day keeps haunting me. I guess I’ll carry this burden for the rest of my life.

If I could turn the back hands of time, I’d say, “I love you, Cherryl and I need you. Please wait for me and I’ll take care of you.”

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