Same-Sex Intimacy: Bakit May Backlash pa Rin?

We see it more and more these days—two men holding hands in a café in Quezon City, two women sharing a kiss at a beach in the province, or a non-binary couple proudly posting on TikTok. But despite the growing visibility of same-sex couples in the Philippines, public displays of affection (PDA) still often get raised eyebrows, side comments, or even harassment.

The most progressive cities in the country are home to many members of the LGBTQ+ community. But even in these urban spaces, public intimacy between same-sex couples is still seen as controversial. Ang tanong ng marami—bakit hanggang ngayon, may backlash pa rin?

We’re Open—But Only Behind Closed Doors

The Philippines loves to say it’s LGBTQ-friendly. Totoo naman in some ways—maraming bakla at tomboy sa media, sa workplace, at sa mga barkadahan. But that acceptance is often conditional. Ok lang basta hindi halata. Ok lang basta hindi PDA. Ok lang basta hindi “OA.”

In short, “We’re fine with it… as long as we don’t see it.”

Kaya kapag may dalawang lalaki na naghawak-kamay sa jeep, or two girls na magka-akbay sa mall, people stare. Worse, may iba pang naglalakas-loob na magsabi ng, “Kadiri” o “Bata pa ang nanonood.”

Sa Cebu, ganito rin. Sa Colon o Mango Avenue, baka hindi ka harapin diretso, pero mararamdaman mo ang titig. “Gakuyog man lagi tong duha, lalaki ra ba puros.” It’s still there—the quiet disapproval, the whispers, the tension.

Social Media: Visibility and Judgment

On platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, queer couples are becoming more visible. They post sweet videos, dancing together, or just having fun. For some, it’s empowering. For others, especially those outside big cities, it’s shocking.

Kapag ang lalaki at babae nag PDA online, okay lang. Pero kapag same-sex? Instant comments section war. Makikita mo ang mga linyang:

• “Anak, huwag mo panoorin ‘to.”
• “Sana hindi sila nag-post.”
• “Mali ‘yan sa harap ng mga bata.”

The irony? Walang batas laban sa same-sex PDA, pero people act like it’s illegal. Worse, sometimes public displays lead to real-world discrimination—being kicked out of places, refused service, or harassed on the street.

Religion and “Pinoy Morality”

A big part of this backlash comes from our deep-rooted religious beliefs. Catholic teachings and traditional Filipino values often condemn same-sex acts as immoral or unnatural. The concept of “delikadesa” still haunts us—especially when it comes to public intimacy.

For many older Pinoys, PDA is frowned upon in general, but it becomes a bigger issue if it’s two men or two women. There’s a belief that “pinagpapakita” ang maling gawain. Parang public PDA equals promotion ng kabaklaan or “pagpapalaganap ng kasalanan.”

That might sound extreme, pero marami pa rin ang naniniwala dito, especially outside city centers. Even in Cebu, known for its Sinulog pride and vibrant LGBTQ+ community, some barangays still quietly discourage gay couples from being open.

Stories of Harassment and Shame

Sadly, some same-sex couples have experienced harassment just for being affectionate. In most cities, may mga balita ng couples being asked to leave malls, parks, or restaurants after hugging or kissing.

In other provinces, there have been cases where couples were catcalled or laughed at in public transport. Some even report being followed or filmed without consent.

These incidents send a message: “You’re allowed to exist, but not be seen.”

But the truth is, visibility matters. For younger LGBTQ+ kids in the Philippines who are still figuring themselves out, seeing same-sex couples in public can mean hope, validation, and courage. “Ay, hindi pala ako mag-isa.”

Progress is Slowly Happening

Despite the backlash, things are changing. Manila’s Pride March grows bigger every year. Cebu has its own vibrant Pride events. Schools and companies are starting to adopt more inclusive policies. And more importantly, Gen Z Filipinos are becoming more accepting and outspoken.

Marami na rin ang tumatayo para ipagtanggol ang karapatan ng LGBTQ+ community. Activist groups, influencers, and even some celebrities are pushing for a culture that embraces equality, love, and freedom.

Even in public spaces, more couples are slowly becoming bolder, choosing love over fear, visibility over shame.

The Right to Love Openly

Same-sex PDA isn’t about “flaunting” or “disrespecting culture.” It’s about love. It’s about holding hands without fear, hugging without shame, and being yourself—publicly.

Why should straight couples be free to kiss, while queer couples must hide?
Why do two girls cuddling in a park draw hate, but two teens doing the same in a teleserye don’t?
Why are we okay with sexy ads and wild parties, but offended by two men sharing a quiet hug?

The answer is clear: we still have a lot to unlearn.

The journey to true equality isn’t just about legal rights—it’s also about normalizing the everyday things. Like a kiss. A hug. A photo. A love story.

Love is not disrespectful. Love is not immoral. And when we see two people who love each other—whatever their gender—maybe the best thing we can do is just let them be.