Loving You: Finding Strength in Your Words

Hours ago, you said, “I know things are hard right now. You’re going to get through with this, and I’ll be with you.”

Know that those words mean so much to me. Thank you for saying those… You make me strong and pick up the pieces. You make my life filled with beautiful meaning. This is what I want. Someone who understand my dark sides… Someone who’s willing to go through the tunnel of my emotional turmoil… I know you’re doing it with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your willingness because I guess I’m the one for you. I said I guess because things could change when you will be tested with rougher and tougher situations we can’t control. I said I guess because you could be poured down by rain and thunder with circumstances we can’t avoid. What matters is I’m holding on to your words that you will be with me.

Things, situations, circumstances, events, incidents are indeed hard on me. You just don’t know exactly what’s going on in my mind. I don’t want to tell you everything because I don’t want to be bothered and make you worried. What matters, I hold on…

I keep going because behind all my struggles, sweat and vein-pounding efforts are the images of you and me. The thought that someday we will live together in a house we own peacefully where we will raise our own kids, keep me motivated to overcome all the hardships and hurdles along the way… The thought that we walk hand in hand in the street, in the mall, in the seashore keep me galvanized to do better what I do so I can earn more and thus, provide more in building our future together, forever…

I’m getting older while the fountain of your youth has just begun. I’m getting weaker while your strength is just starting to fully unfold. Every day I’m not physically with you, I feel like I’m getting thinner. Every time the clock ticks and finishes its cycle when another day has commenced but without you by my side, I feel like years speed up in aging my body.

Days ago, you said, “I’m just here because I’m going to love you when you’re happy and I’m going to still love you the most when you’re sad even if dili ka mo ingon nako (even if you don’t say it).”

With those words, you touch me so deep like no one has ever said that before to me. With those words, you’re like literally holding my heart inside my body while the beating of my heart feels the warmth and texture of the skin of your palm and fingers. With those words, the cells in my body and the genes in my bloodstream have been renewed progressively, slowly but surely on its way where I’m going back to that fountain of my youth and where I can go along in the unfolding of your strength.

What can I say more, my darling, my love, my dear!? I love you because loving you keeps me alive and revitalized. But most of all, I love you because you’re going to love me when I’m happy and still going to love me even the most when I’m sad.